Heeeere’s Johnny (Outhouses Have Come a Long Way)

I grew up at a time when every camp—and these were camps, not cottages—had an outhouse. My grandparents built a camp on a small pond up north in the 1940s. The outhouse was named Myra. As far as I knew while I was growing up, the moniker had no significance, but I’ve since learned that […]

I Think It’s Time to Shorten the Political Season

The political campaign season in this country is too long.  Do we really need two years and hundreds of millions of dollars to decide who should lead our nation? I, like most Americans, have decided whom I will vote for even before the campaign begins—it’s the person running against the candidate I hate.  So spare […]

No More Lucky Strikes For Average Joe

I started smoking cigarettes—Lucky Strikes—at fifteen years old. I was in love with sixteen-year-old Rhonda Stevens and wanted to seem older, cooler and more sophisticated. I was pretty sure a cigarette hanging from my pimple-covered face would drive Rhonda to a state of uncontrollable lust for my bony body.   I just knew that if […]

Why Average Joe Will Vote for Donald Trump

(The following story appears as part of Brian Daniels’s book, Thoughts of an Average Joe, which was published by Islandport Press in 2014. “I’d Vote for an Honest Politician” seems timely, considering today’s political circus. More information about the book here.)           I’d Vote for an Honest Politician  How refreshing would it be to have […]

Nicknames . . . Don’t Call Me Rufus!

A lot of folks, especially men, in Smalltown go by a name other than that which appears on their birth certificates.  On East Street alone, we had a “Peeno”, a “Nuckie”, and a “Frenchy”, to name a few.   I’ve noticed that the use of nicknames is far more common in rural America than in […]

Need Directions? . . . Get Lost!

It’s hard to get good directions.  Last October, I was upcountry and asked a local where I might find some partridges (yeah, I know there are no partridges up there).  But, ask about grouse, and you’re sure to be instantly labeled as “one of them highbrows from down country.” Anyway, Alton, at the Lincoln Mobil […]

What Do I Do About This President Rubio Tattoo?

Did you every wake up with a headache and some new body art (like a Rubio for President tat)?  Me neither . . . honest.  I was just wondering about you.  This isn’t about me, is it? As I look around at the epidermis of my friends and neighbors, I’m seeing an investment opportunity that […]